Sunday, 9 October 2011

Cargo Cult Over Engineering - Pointless Generic Design

Try to open your mind...

Look back to a time long ago...

A time where there are no computers, no phones, no modern technologies....
Now look back ever further, beyond ice ages, beyond the Earth itself....
Back to a time even before our Sun existed, keep going all the way back, further and further to a point before even time itself existed, a point where our Universe was NULL.
There is nothing not even darkness.

All is still...

The omni gods are tasked to come up with a design to recreate our entire universe. However they don't stop there, they work away and come up with a brilliant generic design so they can create any type of universe.

After a little while one omni god asks the question "Do we really need to allow for all these other universes? Surely we just want to recreate the one we had?"

The other omni gods bare down upon him. "How dare you question the order of generic design!" they say, he is ridiculed, excluded from further discussions, labelled as a fool and banished.
A murmur begins to ring around the room.
The murmur slowly turns into mantra.

"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."


The omni gods think long and hard about all the things all possible universes have in common.
The ultimate glorious generic solution awaits...They can almost touch it... excitement is building.

Universe<OursWithUsAndTheEarthInIt>

Universe<AllGreenSunsPlusInfiniteMuggleWumps>
Universe<SlightlyToTheLeftWithHammers>
Universe<BendingLightSometimes>
Universe<BlackHoleHideout>
Universe<NULL>
Universe<FireIsBlackAndNoMarshmellows>
...

The list goes on and on and the High Priests have to bend the system to handle more and more possibilities.The mantra continues:

"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."


Universe<RockPillowsAndSundials>
Universe<NoGravityOrJugglers>
Universe<PlanetsAreSquareSometimes>



"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."
"Universe<T>..."


Universe<AntiUniverse>
Universe<DarkMatterAndPigsOnlyOnTuesdays>
Universe<AnyoneCanCode>



Time passes as the omni gods try to create a generic solution to handle all the Universes they can imagine. There is a lot to think about and they have barely started their brillant solution when...



KAPOW!

From nowhere our Universe explodes into existence!
Once again our universe lives and breathes just as we remember it.

The omni gods are in shock. What is this blasphemy? Our perfect solution is not ready.

To their horror the banished god has gone off and made exactly what was required.
He simply recreated our universe.

The omni gods shout scorn at him "What about our brilliant generic solution?"
This banished voice doesn't answer, he has finished his work for the day and has gone to the pub.

He will never be a member of the cargo cult that is "Pointless Generic Design".


GCS Wiz




3 comments:

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